Which Wolf Are You Feeding? The Tale and the Neuroscience Behind Effective Leadership

You’ve probably heard the Cherokee tale of the two wolves. Despite its simplicity, this ancestral story offers a powerful metaphor for what we experience daily, especially when we lead others (and ourselves).

The Tale (Adapted from Cherokee Tradition)

A wise Cherokee elder once told his grandson:

“Inside me, there’s a battle between two wolves. 

🐺 One represents anger, envy, insecurity, fear, anxiety, and resentment. 

🐺 The other represents confidence, courage, gratitude, joy, empathy, and resilience.”

The grandson asked, “Grandfather, which wolf wins?”The elder replied, “The one I feed.”

Science Weighs In: Neuroplasticity in Action

Research in neuroscience, especially in the field of neuroplasticity, shows that our brains are constantly being shaped and reshaped by the emotional and cognitive patterns we engage with the most.

Feeding negative thoughts strengthens neural circuits associated with fear, criticism, and anxiety. On the other hand, cultivating emotions like trust, compassion, and gratitude activates networks linked to resilience, clarity, and emotional leadership.

Just like in the fable, science tells us: what you feed, grows.

Why This Matters

Leadership isn’t just about hitting goals. It’s about inspiring, influencing, and creating emotionally safe environments. A leader who consistently feeds the “positive wolf” tends to:

• Inspire greater trust and engagement,

• Promote collaboration and creativity,

• Build healthier and more sustainable cultures.

Leaders who unconsciously feed the “negative wolf” may spread fear, tension, and disconnection across their teams, even with the best of intentions.

How to Feed the Positive Wolf: Three Practical Habits

1. Observe yourself daily 

   Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions as they arise. → Practical tip: Keep a brief journal. Note what threw you off and what grounded you. What emotional triggers showed up?

2. Redirect consciously 

   When you notice a negative emotional pattern, pause and shift. → Example: If you feel anger or frustration, ask: “What can I be grateful for right now?” Or simply take a deep breath and choose a different perspective.

3. Build emotional habits that nourish you 

   Repetition strengthens new neural pathways. → Practical tip: Practicing meditation, mindfulness, or daily gratitude visualizations is like feeding the wolf with healthy food.

A Note of Wisdom: It’s Not About Erasing the “Negative” Wolf

It’s important to remember: all emotions, even the challenging ones, have value.

Anger can signal boundaries being crossed.

Fear can alert us to real danger.

The goal isn’t to eliminate these emotions, but to prevent them from taking control of your internal system.

Wisdom lies in recognizing what we feel, giving it brief space to be processed, and then choosing which energy we want to nurture most often.

Personal Challenge for the Week

For the next 7 days, ask yourself:

“Which wolf am I feeding today?”

Take brief notes each day. At the end of the week, reflect:

• What emotional patterns kept repeating?

• What helped shift your internal state?

• How did this awareness affect your decisions and interactions?

The tale of the two wolves isn’t just a beautiful story.It’s a practical and powerful invitation to take ownership of your emotional life, and, through that, to develop more conscious, inspiring, and human-centered leadership.

So… which wolf will you feed today? www.valritis.com