Is it age or just Brain Fog? Why stress might be hijacking your memory.

I have a long-time friend with whom I worked in the past. Luckily, we’ve maintained our friendship to this day, and last week we managed to go out for dinner and catch up.

At one point in the conversation, he said with a tired smile: “I think I’m starting to feel the weight of my age…”

I asked him why.

He said it wasn’t so much physical, but mental. That his mental agility, focus, and memory just weren’t the same.

I confess I found it strange. He’s younger than I am (we are both in our 50s). I found myself comparing… my mind is sharp, I can maintain focus, and my short and long-term memory feel normal.

That’s when I had a flash of three years ago. I was living through an extremely high level of stress and began having desperate memory lapses. I would be in the middle of a conversation and, suddenly, lose my train of thought. Right in the middle of a sentence, I would completely forget where I was going. It was terrifying.

At the time, I thought something was wrong with my physical health. But the diagnosis was different: chronic stress.

So, I asked him the key question: “Do you think stress might be affecting your mental and cognitive capacity?” He paused for a moment. He thought about it. And then he nodded silently.

And now comes a provocative question for you: Can you see how much stress might be interfering with your work, your relationships, your decision-making ability, and even your ability to see the power within you?

Because here is a point that almost no one wants to face:

• Sometimes we call it “age”… when it’s actually overload.

• We call it “lack of focus”… when it’s actually a nervous system in survival mode.

• We call it “bad memory”… when it’s actually accumulated fatigue + chronic tension.

  
  

If you feel overwhelmed by stress, here are 10 simple tips to start turning the tide:

1. Stop arguing with the symptom and treat the cause (overload). Before trying to “improve your mind,” ask: What in my routine is too heavy and yet I’m normalizing it? Choose one thing to reduce this week (a commitment, a people-pleasing pattern, or an unrealistic demand).

   
   

2. Regulate your body for 3 minutes, twice a day. The brain functions better when the body leaves “alarm mode.” Stop and breathe: inhale through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, and exhale for 6–8 seconds. Repeat for 3 minutes. It’s that simple. This changes your internal state more than “willpower” ever could.

   
   

3. Practice Micro-Presence. Don’t wait for vacation to rest. Create 5-minute windows of “real presence” throughout the day. No phone, no goals. Just you inhabiting your own body. This helps reactivate the brain areas responsible for clarity and decision-making.

   
   

4. Differentiate "Signal" from "Noise". Chronic stress creates constant mental noise that drowns out your intuition. Learn to distinguish between a real urgency (signal) and what is merely your Saboteur’s anxiety (noise). When a demand arises, ask yourself: "Is this vital now, or is it just my need for control/perfectionism speaking louder?"

   
   

5. Data and Stimuli Hygiene. Our brains were not designed to process the volume of information we consume today. If you are already stressed, excessive screen time "hijacks" your cognitive energy. Try an information diet: set a time to turn off your phone (at least 1 hour before bed) to allow your brain to perform the necessary "cleanup" during sleep.

   
   

6. Name what you are feeling. Science shows that naming emotions decreases activity in the amygdala (the brain's fear center). When stress hits, instead of saying "I feel bad," try to be specific: "I feel overwhelmed" or "I feel invisible." This clarity helps you move out of reactive mode and back into the role of the observer.

   
   

7. The Power of the Strategic "No". Every "yes" you say out of fear of displeasing others or out of obligation is a "no" you say to your mental health. Stress is often the result of poorly established boundaries. Practicing the "no" is an exercise in protecting your mental agility. If you don’t protect your time, you can’t protect your focus.

   
   

8. Conscious Movement (Not just exercise). It doesn’t have to be an hour at the gym. When you feel your mind "lock up," stand up, stretch, or walk for two minutes, paying attention to the soles of your feet touching the floor. This movement moves accumulated energy from your head and distributes it through your body, breaking the stress-freeze cycle.

   
   

9. Review your "Silent Rules". Often stress comes from rules we impose on ourselves: "I need to reply to emails instantly," "I cannot make mistakes." Identify which rule is generating the most tension today and question its validity. You will find that many of these rules are old "programming" that no longer serve who you are today.

   
   

10. Celebrate Small Wins of Presence. Our brains have a negativity bias that focuses on what went wrong. To reverse stress, you need to "train" your focus to notice what is working. At the end of the day, write down three moments when you managed to be present or when you were in command of your reactions. This strengthens the neural pathway of self-governance.

    
    

Emotional governance is a daily practice:

"Reclaiming command of your mind doesn't happen overnight. It is a process of gently peeling back the layers of overload we’ve accumulated and believing that our natural state is one of clarity and power, not chaos. Start small, but start today."

Tags: Emotional Management, Chronic Stress, Mental Health at Work, Memory and Focus, Self-Governance.